Lymm Golf Club

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Senior's Newsletter 42


Newsletter 42, Week commencing 15/10/18



1) Interclub Matches


Ron Thornton has agreemost of the dates for our Interclub Matches next year and these will be notified in due course.


2)Turkey Trot


Our annual Turkey Trot was held last Friday in very blustery and drizzly conditions. Nine hardy souls braved the elements and congratulations go to the winners who were:


Handicaps 0-20Phil Lomas31 points

Handicaps over 21Jim Wilson30 points


Phil scored a two on the 13th hole but unfortunately, as this was not a Round of our Autumn Session’, it does not qualify for the normal prize of three golf balls!


The prizes will be awarded at the presentation day on Friday, December 7th following the Texas Scramble.



3)Health and Welfare


A number of our members have ongoing medical issues and we wish them all a speedy recovery. Should anyone need any assistance please contact any of the committee members.


It was good to see Phil Blake back at the club last Friday sporting his new hip!



4)Xmas Lunch


Our annual lunch this year will be held at Lymm Golf Club at 13.30 on Friday, 30thNovember 2018.


The meal will be a 2 course Carvery costing £16 per person and a booking sheet will be on the notice board in the near future.


5)Future Events


a)  Next Friday, 19th October we will play Round 4 of the Autumn Session followingwhich the Seniors Section ABM will be held.




      Please be advised that the Annual Business Meeting of the

      Seniors Section will be held at Lymm Golf Club on Friday

      19th October 2018.


      The meeting will follow Round 4 of the Autumn Session which

      has been re-arranged for that day.


      The business transacted will be


• a report from the Chairman 
• a presentation of the financial report by the Treasurer
• voting and election of members to the committee
• any other business relevant to the ABM

     No other business will be transacted.


     Rob Taylor

     Secretary to the Committee.




Due to there being a lunch function for c100 people at the club that day our ABM will be held in the snooker room. 


Please note that it has been arranged with Karen that tea and coffee will be provided on the bar with payment to be made into an honesty box.


Whilst the bar staff will try to oblige, understandably, service for anything else can be expected to be slow.


b)The Andy Ward Trophy


The draw for this annual winter, pairs knock out competition will take place on Friday, 26thOctober 2018 after Round 5 of the Autumn Session.


The draw will pair a low and a high handicap player together and the competition will be played from the yellow tees.


The format is 4-ball better ball with shots being calculated based on 9/10ths of the clubhandicap difference from the lowest handicapper in the group.


The entry form is on the notice board so please enter your name as soon as possible.


6) Joke of the week: 

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. 


Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium.  


She said, "I would like to praise.


Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle crash and his scrotum was completely crushed.  The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him." 


You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.  


"Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place." 


Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom.  


"Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that, with time, his scrotum should recover completely." 


All the men sighed with unified relief. 


The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.


A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.


He said, "I am Tom Smith."  


The entire congregation held its breath.  


"I just want to tell my wife that the word is sternum."



Andrew Ransom

(on behalf of our Marketing/Communications Officer - Phil Blake)

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